The Heart Attack......

The weekend goes by so quick! There usually are so many projects that I would like to start or finish, but seems like I never want to get off of the couch anymore! I know Angie wishes I would do something to get me out of her sight. I had a heart attack on March 21, of this year. A week after my 41st birthday. I still cannot believe that me of all people actually had this happen to me. And I say this because I am not that overweight (maybe 10 pounds). I do not fit 'my' idea of a 'heart attack waiting to happen'. I have seen people that look far worse than I do that I thought met the heart attack criteria more than myself, but in reality, that's not how it works. Damn. The criteria that I met was smoking (one pack a day for 25 years), and bad eating habits. I am a fast food junkie. If I could eat out every meal, then I would. It is sooo easy to stop by my favorite place in the world, Mc Donald's. Usually I got two burgers, fries and large sweet tea. Mmmmmm. Hell, I can taste it now! Anyway, I have eaten like this for 20 years consistently. Well, now I have to pay for all of those years of having bad eating habits. Damn it! I remember the heart attack(s) quite vividly. It lasted for a week. No lie. Actually my back had started to hurt at work on the days following my 41st birthday. My back had hurt so bad that It was bothering me when I walked, and therefore I couldn't hardly work. I went to my family doctor on Thursday and she told me that it was a pulled muscle, so she gave me some muscle relaxers and pain medication. I was set! I could go home and watch the NCAA basketball tournament all weekend in no pain! Or so I thought. Well, the following day after my doctor visit, my back wasn't hurting as much anymore, and not because of the meds because I quit taking those because I thought they were making my chest hurt. Anyway my chest and elbows hurt so bad for three days before I finally asked Angie to take me to the emergency room. i remember her dropping me off at the ER door. I snuck a cigarette in before I walked in to the ER. That was the best cigarette....MMMMMMM, oh, and by the way, that was the last cigarette that I hope to ever have! I have NOT smoked since then, and Lord willing, I hope I never do again! Anyway, after that last cigarette I walked into the ER and told them that my chest had been hurting and they whisked me away pretty quick. The next thing I remember is that I was on a bed getting my privates shaved, wires all over me a defibrillator on the bed,(SCARY) and I still had no idea that I'd had a heart attack. Anyway, they took me into surgery and put two stints in my heart and I have to go back in July to get two more put in. Just call me stint man....haha. That was a few weeks ago. Besides not smoking, I am really trying to watch what I eat, but more than anything I think, is my stress level. My job persist of a high level of stress, and so does my personal life. And you know what? It has been like this since I can remember. My stress goes back to my childhood, which I will dive into later. But I can tell you this; at this very moment in time, I can honestly say that sometimes, I think that my life will no longer be the same. And I guess I need to suffer more. I mean, in all actuality, I've suffered my whole life, what's a few more years gonna hurt?!